08/03/17

You Do You

The Sisterhood of the Bar Bathroom

By: Ina Welker
2nd  Place  Dribble Scribbles Winner of Personal Essay

Ina Welker is a 65-year-old retired English teacher and guidance counselor, mom to 4 and Mimi to 3 grandsons. Living in Santa Rosa, California with her husband of 30 years, she spends much of her time volunteering and cycling. 

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It might have been funny, until it wasn't...or was it?? It was a glorious day in Tiburon, north of San Francisco. I was so excited to be meeting up with good friends who were visiting the Bay Area. We decided to meet at the iconic Sam's Cafe on its sunny deck overlooking the Bay toward the City.

The food and drinks were fabulous and the conversation and laughs even better. Until suddenly, you know, "the uncontrollable urge!" I had, unfortunately, run out of clean Icons and was relegated to those nasty pads! With not a second to spare, I quickly excused myself and headed across the deck, winding myself through tables of slightly inebriated people who were enjoying a beautiful Sunday without a care in the world, while I, desperate to get to the ladies' room was dribbling all the way!

The second I got into the bathroom, it was all over! All over my pants, shoes, the floor! Three young 20-somethings primping in the mirror, turned in unison, and looked at me with their mouths agape. All I could say was, "I'm 65! You wouldn't understand!" Their look of pity was almost too much to take. 

Then suddenly, one of the girls picked up her full glass of beer from the counter and threw its contents directly towards my crotch! There was a moment of stunned silence as the four of us stared at the mess running down the front of me. "I've got you covered," the beer slinger exclaimed. "Now who do I have to tell about my drunken blunder?" 

I will always love that girl! God bless you whoever you are.

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As I've grown older and better with age, I've realized women’s companionship is part of our DNA. When we are juggling babies, bottles and work, when we face the reality of a divorce, when the waist disappears and the skin on our chubby (or skinny) thighs sags, it is our sisters we turn to hold us up! After all, who else can relate to and fully accept the coughing, sneezing and raucous laughing pee fest we share? 

Photo by: Bridget Collins

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