You Do You

Dear Sheilah: On Hindsight, Granny Mistresses, and Superpowers

Dear Sheilah,
If given the chance, what would you tell 25 year-old you?
Time Traveling in Tulsa

Dear Ms Tulsa,
Fasten your seatbelt...
Dear Me:
I am so happy to share 68 years of experience with you. At 25, you will start to understand how you make your own happiness. You will have been crushed at least once by now. Someone may enhance your life, but not BE your life. You want to be filled with so much joy, you just have to share it.
I would tell me that, the Law of Attraction is the way the Universe works. Energy flows where attention goes. Doors will open, things just fall into place. Pay attention to your inner voice, it's alway right. If its not a "hell yes!" then its a hell no. 
There's more.
When you know what you don't want, you know what you DO want. You can be, do, or have anything. It's up to you to manifest your dreams and desires. When you're in a growth spurt, say "everything always works out for me" and believe it. Because it always does.

I love you, Me!
68 year-old you

PS - In real life, at 25 I had 2 kids, had been married for 7 years, and was praying to God to help me find a way out. I was not filled with joy....more like filled with Valium. Ha!

I would love to hear what you ladies would say to your 25 year-old self. Its amazing what pours out once you start writing. Let's share our wisdom!


Dear Sheilah, 

I'm in a bit of a sticky situation. I'm pregnant with my first babies (yes, twins!) and my husband's family is...complicated (who's isn't??). Basically, my father-in-law had an affair and left my mother-in-law for the other woman. Now that grandchildren are entering the mix, my mother-in-law is insistent that her ex-husband's former mistress and now wife NOT be called "grandma." My husband thinks the best solution is just to have the kids eventually call her "Andrea" (because that's her name, haha) but I feel bad just having our kids call her by her name since she's going to be involved in their lives. 

Any advice on how to navigate this minefield with a modicum of grace?

Baby Mama with Family Drama


Congratulations to you and your husband on a job well done!

Having said that, how very sweet of you to want Andrea to feel part of the family (just don't do it in front of your Mother-in-Law). You, my little double trouble, are going to need all hands on deck. I only had one baby at a time and I thought "why do we put ourselves through this??" Then after my stitches healed, I knew why.

Since my mother had touched the face of God some 50 years ago, I had only my Mother-in-Law to help me. She was a gem. Maybe a little out of touch (she tried to use safety pins on a disposal diaper) but God love her, she was the best. I got lucky. I hope your Mother-in-Law is a keeper too.

We cant blame her for insisting the Mistress not be called Grandma. "Mistress" sounds so mysterious and exotic. When I was a young girl I wanted to be a cocktail waitress in Las Vegas, and if that wasn't enough, I wanted to be the mistress of a mafia man. I've always had high aspirations for myself. As for Andrea's future name, my advice would be why not let her decide what she would like to be called?


PS - My vote is for Bubbee. Any other ideas out there?


Dear Sheilah,

I think women develop more and more super powers as they get older. Do you agree? What are some supernatural skills you've picked up along the way?

Wonder Woman

Dear Wonder Woman, 

Yes, I do agree.

I have one supernatural skill that took me years of practice to perfect. Here's another: I can do my make up to look super natural. Being super has always come natural to me.

I do have other supernatual powers, like being able to do 4 things at once (right ladies??).

I hear supernatural voices, and have seen a vision of a cat rush by me in my dining room. I don't own a cat. I receive messages from beyond on occasion. 

However the best thing is being a super, powerful, natural woman. 


PS - Who else out there has supernatural powers? I can't wait to read them.

~* Have any burning questions for Sheilah? Send 'em! dearsheilah@iconundies.com *~ 

Meet Sheilah: our pot-smoking, straight-talking, completely uncertified advice columnist. From seasoning humor into a cooking column, to pitching NBC game shows, Sheilah's always had a way with words. She's discovered her calling of helping others heal, through massage and writing this column. Sprinkling wisdom upon Icon readers saved her from living a boring, damp life. Sheilah is the proud mother of 2, grandmother of 3, and lives in California with her beloved yorkie, Max.

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